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This is a Renew Original Recording.
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Hello and welcome to the Believe in People podcast, a 2024 Radio Academy Award nominated podcast to talk all things addiction recovery and stigma.
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I'm Matthew Butler and I'm your host, or, as I like to say, your facilitator.
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Today, I have with me Adam, known for his time on Love Island and his career in professional wrestling.
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He discusses his experiences with steroid use, including the physical and mental impacts, the stigma around these drugs and the importance of post-cycle therapy.
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He talks about a WWE contract that fell through due to a misunderstanding in a background check and reflects on his rigorous yet unsuccessful audition for the UK gladiators.
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Throughout, adam emphasises mental health, personal growth and resilience, highlighting how these experiences have shaped his life and his career.
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Adam, thank you so much for joining me on the Believing People podcast.
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It is a pleasure to have you here.
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It's a pleasure to be here my man.
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I'm looking forward to this.
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Do you know what?
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Obviously, the fact that this is a bit cheeky of me really, the fact that we are friends in real life is me kind of capitalising on that of your social media presence and your fame.
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Let's not, let's not lie about that.
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But also there are very interesting things that I'd like to talk to you about that you might not necessarily been open with with people before as well.
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But a little bit about yourself.
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Obviously, you're known for being on love island, but you're also known as being a professional wrestler as well, so could you share a bit about your journey from being a love island contestant and becoming a professional wrestler?
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well.
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So this is the thing people don't realize.
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Well, some people like I was wrestling before I did love island the first time, but not many people knew that.
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They thought, oh, you're just this guy that's trying to be a pro wrestler.
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But I'd already been wrestling for like six, seven months back in ireland and back then there was no real opportunities, like in wrestling to make a name for yourself.
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So I was wrestling maybe once every two to three months and, as you know, as a wrestler like to build up your reps.
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When you're like green and you're new, you need to be in the ring consistently and there just wasn't the work there for me.
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So a cast and producer came in, actually did an audition for Take Me Out.
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I went to this empty hotel room, had to pretend to come down the lift, had to pretend to be dancing, like it was so awkward and they were like yeah, we're going to use it.
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And I thought you know what love?
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Uh, take me out is not as big a show as it used to be, it's a little bit more cheesy.
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So I said, guys, I'm not going to do it.
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I said thank you.
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And they were like well, we'll keep you in mind forever stuff.
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So a couple months passed and then this whole love island thing came up.
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They said do you want to apply for this?
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And I said, like it's a risk because you don't know how you're going to be portrayed, but it could also really help you take off.
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And obviously it did.
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As soon as I finished that series, what?
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Back in 2016, series two, I was wrestling all over the UK like two, three times a week.
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Do you know?
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what I mean.
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So going from two to three times a month, or you know, in the months to then a week, was just really helped my career.
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So the show was good for me.
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But I think people don't realise that I was actually a wrestler before I did Love Island.
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Now you've said that it does trigger a memory, because my partner, my wife, she said do you know this person?
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Adam Mack said he says he's a wrestler.
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And I looked I was like no, I have no idea.
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So obviously you was months in, but I guess that that's.
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That's the interesting thing for me.
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You realize how big the scene was.
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That I was maybe oblivious to, but I didn't know.
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No, so like I didn't know how big the wrestling scene was in the uk before I ever, because I'd never wrestled in england I was just hoping that maybe one day I could break out of ireland and maybe get to a big company, obviously at the time wb.
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But I didn't realize that the england, like the uk, had a huge wrestling scene.
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So when I finished the show the first time I'm getting all these emails from all these companies I was like wow, like wrestling's massive in England.
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And then obviously met a girl at the time and moved over to England and was wrestling consistently.
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So you know I'm glad I did it.
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It really did open the doors for me and helped me start my wrestling career, you know.
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And you grew green as grass, seven months in our age you know, being the focal point of posters, love islands, adam max dead, and being so, so, so green, do you know?
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So there was, yeah, like I what I always say, I was not ready for those opportunities, but I did the show for a reason to get my name out there, because I wanted to be a professor.
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So it's kind of like sink or swim.
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It's kind of like this is what you asked for, this is the opportunities you were hoping for, so you need to go with it like.
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You need to like jump in.
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So I remember, though, thinking, like you know, wrestling fans especially I wasn't ready for the matches.
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I was so green, I was standing at like a sore thumb and they were probably thinking why is this guy on posters?
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Why is this guy getting hyped up as, like, this big thing and he's terrible?
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Like, do you mean?
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And it did it.
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Honestly, it really did get to me.
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Those first couple years, I was going on social media, I was going on twitter, as we, you know, as wrestlers sometimes did, and you were trying to see what people thought of your match, and it was just negative, negative, like this guy like looks the part, but he's terrible in the ring, or this guy's just a Love Island wanker.
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I was getting called and, like you know, send this guy back.
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Who does he think he is?
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And I think that's again.
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A lot of the fans didn't know that I was actually trying to become a wrestler before Love.
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Island they just thought I did the TV show and thought and I'll try and take over your world.
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So to be, to be fair, though, all my peers did say, like you know, you're so humble, you're so like dedicated, and you know, if you stick with this you will obviously become better.
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But it was a lot of pressure initially.
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But I'm still here, I'm still funny enough that that reminds me, because when we was working on the the butlin scene, I remember being told that you was joining the team and it sounds harsh because I had just had that stereotype of love Ireland Jack's guy with a tan, this guy's going to be an asshole.
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And then when I met you I was like, oh my God, he's so nice, what a humble and lovely lad.
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And I remember you coming back from one of your matches and asking for advice and stuff.
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I was like, oh, he's a, he's a really good kid.
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But yeah, I think sometimes that stereotypes into people.
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I guess it's the, the stereotype.
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The stigma of it is is going to be that you just don't, you're just a jacked up asshole.
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And I had this the other day, literally two days ago.
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I've just joined a new gym in manchester and they're very strict with their rules and the woman that runs it she's you know, she's quite masculine, she's like on the ball.
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Like she came over and was like you know, if you're gonna, you know, leave your weights like more than five minutes, and do you know?
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I mean, I was like I'm super saddened, but she was like the other day she was like I expected you to be such a dickhead.
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She was like when I saw you come in and join, I was kind of knocked.
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She was like I was going to maybe persuade you not to join this gym.
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She was like I thought you were going to be your typical influencer and she was like, honestly, we all thought you were going to be such a bellend.
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And it's sad like people do judge you before giving you the opportunity to kind of show them what you're about.
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But I'm used to it and that comes with I guess, that being you know, I'll use the word famous, and that is what happens when you are on a series like Love Island.
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So how did you cope with that sudden and, I guess, the transient fame that came with being a contestant on Love Island and how did that influence your, I guess, personal life, particularly in terms of mental health and, as we're just saying, then the public perceptions and expectations?
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I think back at 24 I was just happy to like ride the wave, do you mean?
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Like again being from belfast, quite a small city, quite narrow-minded, everyone knows everyone.
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If you're trying to make some of yourself, people kind of don't get behind you.
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They think, why can't you just be happy doing a nine-to-five and having a normal life?
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But I always knew that I wanted more for myself.
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So, obviously, getting the opportunity to do this big tv show I was, like you know, living in England then and I don't know, I just think people, you know, they do think, just because you've done a tv show, especially like Love Island, that you know you're fame hungry or you're trying to be a celebrity and to a degree there's people that, yes, they do want to use the show for that.
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But that was never my intention, like honestly, like I just saw as an opportunity to try and become a pro wrestler and if you watch how I behaved on that first season, like I was quite I don't want to say boring, but I was quite.
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I was quite quiet at times but that's because I went in with the mindset of like, don't say the wrong thing, don't rub someone up the wrong way, don't do anything with girls.
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Because I was so focused on WB at the time I was like I don't want to come across, I don't want to give them any ammunition as to like not sign me because of something I did on TV.
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Because I knew people would start Googling like who's this wrestler?
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So I knew if there was any bad things that I'd done on TV that you know Love Island would have put up on YouTube and stuff at the time it would affect me.
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So I know I wasn't myself but the wave, I enjoyed it.
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Like I was doing nightclub appearances and a young lad I mean, I was having fun.
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But doing it this time I'm glad I got to do it as I'm older now so I was able to go in and show a bit more maturity and I probably, if I'm honest, I've probably struggled with it more now as I'm older than I did when I was 24, because a lot more conscious of it all.
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I guess, yeah, but like even just people think, like I was saying before we came on, like people think, because I've done the show, that like I'm rich now or I'm successful or my life's like sorted, and like I live in Manchester now.
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I live about 10 minutes from the Arndale Centre where I go to Aldi to get my food shop every week, right, and I'm walking home every week with about four or five shopping bags and I see people look at me as I'm walking in the street doing a double take, going like there's Adam from Love Island.
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And then I'll see them look at me and go almost like why is he walking home with his shopping bikes?
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Do you mean like they?
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They maybe think you're a celebrity, you should be getting your food delivered to your house because you've got this money, you've got this lavish lifestyle and I'm like I'm six foot two, I'm jacked, I can, I can walk home with shopping.
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That's my mindset.
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I'm not going to change who I am to as a court, to my core, as a person, just because I've done a TV show.
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But there have been a couple of times where I've even gone a different route home because I've wanted to be seen by less people, because it has got to me because I do see them staring.
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And then recently I've just been like do you know what?
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Like, fuck it.
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Like it's who I am Like.
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Why would I not go to a shopping center to get my shopping and walk on with it, see myself like better or bigger than anyone, just because I've been on a dating show twice and I've been on tv for a few weeks, like some people go on that show and, yes, they want to be known as a influencer or a reality tv person and like that's fine, like that's cool.
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But I know that I'm more than that and I don't want my identity to just be a love island person like I want to be known as, like you know, adam that did love island but also does all this stuff, and not just like adam from love island, you know well.
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Going back to the second season, I was quite surprised that you did go on again because obviously in the length of time that I've known you, one of your sort of hang-ups, I'll say previously was just being known as adam from love island and people recognizing you for that and not the way that you're doing as a professional wrestler.
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So it was quite surprising when you said you was going to go going again.
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What was it that influenced your decision to put yourself in that, in that position again?
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it was where I was in life as a man I was, as you know, as a, as a close friend got very close to making wb a couple years ago.
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I thought that that was it.
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My dream was going to come true.
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And you know from my, from my wrestling career started, people were always saying to me, like you're going to make it, you know, as soon as wbc, how you look like, how green you are, for example, back then they'll sign you, they'll take you to america, they'll train you up, you'll become this big star.
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So in my head I was like, yes, it's going to happen.
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And obviously got the wb contract offer during what?
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Just before covid, when nxt uk was still a thing, and that was it.
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Regal on the phone to me was like adam, you know, we're going to start you in the uk.
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But I reckon he said in a couple months you'll be in america because of how you look, you're so marketable.
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And I was.
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You know he was selling me this dream and I was like this is going to happen.
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You know, I mean, and the girl I was with at the time, like she had been paying on the bit all the bills for a couple of years, because I said, look, I need to focus on long run.
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So obviously got the contract offer.
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They did the background check as they do and not assign people.
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And if you remember speaking out in wrestling- at the time was a really big thing.
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So they did a background check on me, saw that I used to be a buff butler years ago, which again I've spoke about this like I walked around in an apron and handed out like champagne to girls at hem parties and stuff.
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I wasn't like this mad stripper.
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But for whatever reason the people in america probably not knowing that, they just thought we're not going to sign this guy because we don't want any more dirt on our name, basically.
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So they even sent him on the phone.
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They're like look, we can't be seen to be releasing people from contracts for doing some shady stuff in their past but then signing you who used to be this kind of, in their head, stripper butler.
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So I remember in the space of a week I went from the high and the celebratory feelings and I was on holiday at the time and I was like I was buzzing.
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I was like as soon as I get from home from this holiday I'll be signed by wb.
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There's the contract.
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I had a screenshot on my phone.
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I was like all that I've worked for the past couple years is going to pay off now.
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And then within a week I got a phone call saying, hey, um, you know this isn't going to happen.
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you know what I mean, because that has been my goal and it has been my dream and I think I didn't lose my passion for wrestling.
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But I just had to look myself in the mirror and go okay, if this isn't going to happen.
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I'm getting a little bit older now.
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I was probably like maybe 27, 28.
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At the time I was like what else can I do?
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And that's when I went back to Marbella and did kind of feel like I was going backwards in life because I was working in the nightlife scene again.
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I was working in nightclubs.
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I was in a nightclub till 4 or 5 am around people getting drunk, like people getting fucked up, and I would sit there and just go like this isn't me, but the money was very good and I'd always I'd worked in Marbella in my early 20s.
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So I've made a lot of good connections.
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I knew a lot of good people.
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It's a great place but, I, always knew again that I was meant for more.
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But I kind of went back to there as, because it was like a safety net, I was like, well, I don't really want to live in the UK because I'm not feeling it, but I can go live in Spain, have a great life, make good money.
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But part of me inside was like this isn't me, so like I was there and I was lost and like I think, as a man, when you, when you don't know what your purpose is or you're waking up every day figuring out like what am I meant to be doing?
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And those that's what I had every day.
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I was waking up just going, like you know, I thought I was gonna be this pro wrestler and I'd be on a big scale and I could really use my platform to help people and show people that if you work hard, you can become something and anything you set your mind to.
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And I felt like a bit of a failure because I got so close and it all fell through and people say, oh, yeah, but it's not your.
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But part of me kind of did think, well, if I hadn't done that in my past, I'd probably be in america now, could be on the main roster now, like I mean, like these are the thoughts that I still have daily.
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But I remember just being in spain and they messaged me.
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A cast member just said hey, adam, I work for itv.
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Can we give you a call this week?
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So they rang me up and they were like we might be doing this season of all stars where we're going to bring people that have done love island before we're going to bring them back.
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And I just remember sitting there going like, like why not?
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I've kind of gotten off on the loose, like I'm kind of that forgotten about, like.
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And you know another thing I talk about the sort of walking home with the shopping bags, the judgment.
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I would be stood in the streets of marbella saying, you know, not like pr and as such, but like because I was the manager of a team and people walk past me and go aren't you, adam from love island?
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Like, why are you on the streets of marbella?
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they'd be like love island obviously didn't do very well for you, but, like you know, I mean that's sort of judgment, yeah, and I had that like over there and like that was that was tough to handle as well, because people again people just presume that because you've done a tv show, that you're this big celebrity or you're famous or your life's set, then and it's not true one or two people will make it huge, like molly may, for example and probably probably from my series alex bowen and olivia.
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They did the best, but not many people that go on that show go on to become like big things, especially in that influencer world.
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Girls definitely will.
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They get this sort of the cloven deals, the brand deals, but for men we don't really get much, unless you're like a really handsome guy, which I'm not bad, but do you mean like it's?
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Men don't really get much from it.
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It's short term as well, isn't it?
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It's like, I mean, you're hot, you sort of the hot top for 12 months and the next season comes out and then it's on to the next.
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But yeah, and it just, it moves on I just like I said, I just didn't want that to be my identity.
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So they rang me and they said look, do you want to do this?
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And I said you know what?
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It might be a sign from the universe that I'm feeling a bit lost and it might have led to something.
00:14:45.436 --> 00:14:46.417
So that was really again.
00:14:46.417 --> 00:14:50.855
It wasn't like oh, I'm lonely and I'm trying to find a girlfriend and I'm getting a bit older, so maybe I'll find love again.
00:14:50.855 --> 00:14:55.109
Like again, people do lie and say, oh, I'm trying to find love, my life like you're, not you're going.
00:14:55.129 --> 00:15:02.511
You're going on the show because you want you want to use it for a business, exactly, or you want to become successful, or you want to be instagram famous, and if that's your intentions, absolutely fine.
00:15:02.511 --> 00:15:06.879
Like I don't judge anyone, because it wasn't mine, I just want to be a pro wrestler and if you meet someone in there, you like amazing.
00:15:06.879 --> 00:15:07.946
I'm not saying it can't happen.
00:15:07.946 --> 00:15:10.802
Alex Bone and Olivia have like two kids now, nathan and Cara from my series.
00:15:10.802 --> 00:15:12.750
They're still married with kids, so it can happen.
00:15:12.750 --> 00:15:15.000
But I think, as it's gone on, people have gone.
00:15:15.000 --> 00:15:15.360
Do you know what?
00:15:15.360 --> 00:15:26.956
I don't want to work in nine to five, so I'll just go on Love Island and there's, you know, there have some deep chats with younger guys about their mindset and stuff, and I remember there's a couple of girls and I said you know, what do you want to do?
00:15:26.956 --> 00:15:32.328
And they were like oh, we've got no work ethic, we don't really want to work, we just want to go on Love Island and they're like.
00:15:33.183 --> 00:15:43.831
They're like 18, 19 years old, and I was like what do you mean?
00:15:43.850 --> 00:15:47.596
they're like no, and I think it's just as good as the show is and as popular as it is.
00:15:47.596 --> 00:15:50.484
I do feel like it's sending out the wrong message to the younger generation.
00:15:50.484 --> 00:15:53.566
That, one again, it's all about how you look and you're valued about your looks.
00:15:53.566 --> 00:16:03.993
And if you don't look a certain way for men, if you don't have good hair, good for girls, if you don't have the perfect bikini body, or do you mean like you're not seen as attractive?
00:16:03.993 --> 00:16:07.075
I think it's just sending out maybe the wrong message to the younger generation.
00:16:07.075 --> 00:16:10.760
Like, as you get older, you sort of learn to accept yourself and you kind of just watch the show for what it is.
00:16:10.760 --> 00:16:19.528
But I think when you're younger and your mind's still developing, it can put so much pressure on I need to look like this, or I need to behave like this, or the younger guys need to be like fuck boys, to keep jumping.
00:16:19.528 --> 00:16:21.931
So I think it's it's sending out the wrong message.
00:16:22.192 --> 00:16:23.734
Do you say the show's sending out the wrong message?
00:16:23.734 --> 00:16:31.567
Don't you think that, having gone on that show a second time and looking the way you do the hair, the physical appearance, do you not think you're contributing to that message?
00:16:31.567 --> 00:16:32.865
Did that cross your mind?
00:16:33.880 --> 00:16:34.826
I mean, that's what I say.
00:16:34.826 --> 00:16:42.405
When I say stuff like this, I'm like I can never really Criticise it too much.
00:16:42.405 --> 00:16:43.187
Crit's not for me.
00:16:43.187 --> 00:16:46.653
I've done it twice, so I sound like people probably say, oh well, you're sounding hypocritical.
00:16:46.653 --> 00:16:53.581
But as I've worked on myself and my mindset and the person I am now, it's like there's so much more to someone than just how they look.
00:16:53.581 --> 00:16:59.943
And as you get older, your looks deteriorate and it's more about you know your values, your morals, your principles, like how you treat people.
00:16:59.943 --> 00:17:02.586
You know the the good work you're trying to do to help other people.
00:17:02.606 --> 00:17:06.011
I think you know a real thing for me now is being in service to people.
00:17:06.011 --> 00:17:07.974
As I've got older, I want to help more people.
00:17:07.974 --> 00:17:08.255
I don't.
00:17:08.255 --> 00:17:10.147
I want to use my platform to help people.
00:17:10.147 --> 00:17:12.681
I don't want to just get brand deals or a protein company going.
00:17:12.681 --> 00:17:15.268
You know we'll give you 10 off if you endorse our protein.
00:17:15.268 --> 00:17:19.724
Do you mean it's like, yeah, I want to use my platform if you call it, you know to actually try and help people.
00:17:19.724 --> 00:17:23.471
And you know when people, when people say, oh, you're famous, you're a celebrity, I'm like I'm not.
00:17:23.471 --> 00:17:24.795
I'm like please don't call me that.
00:17:24.795 --> 00:17:26.979
I'm like I'm just adam, that is in decent shape.
00:17:26.979 --> 00:17:35.820
But you know, and we can talk about it, that came from being bullied when I was younger people, you know people probably think, oh, you're self-obsessed, or you're showing to the gym because you went on love and or you, you got in shape to go on.
00:17:35.820 --> 00:17:38.625
A tv show like this started years ago when I was like big flex, is it?
00:17:38.645 --> 00:17:39.446
yeah, when was big flex born?
00:17:39.446 --> 00:17:46.945
When was big flex born?
00:17:46.945 --> 00:17:47.829
That is the question.
00:17:47.829 --> 00:17:50.903
Yeah, because I've seen pictures of you when you were younger, you know.
00:17:50.923 --> 00:18:09.755
I mean you still, you still look okay, but half of what you do know, half, but probably like half the size you are yeah, no, I just like I was bullied a lot, like didn't I never met my dad, so I never had a faber figure, and my mum, bless her, was very protective because my mum had a very bad childhood traumatising, really bad.
00:18:09.755 --> 00:18:13.435
So when she had me she wanted to cover me in cotton wool.
00:18:13.435 --> 00:18:14.180
Do you know what I mean?
00:18:14.180 --> 00:18:15.866
I remember I was going to a house party one night.
00:18:15.866 --> 00:18:19.790
My mum comes all the way out and sticks her head in the car to check that I had my seatbelt on.
00:18:19.790 --> 00:18:21.165
She goes have you got your seatbelt on, son?
00:18:21.165 --> 00:18:27.752
And I'm in front of all my peers.